Melange
Well, it's been quite some time since the last bit of nowhere was to be seen or heard, and in the meantime the world has undergone not-exactly-staggering-but-still-worth-mentioning changes, and not-so-epic-but-certainly-anecdotal discoveries. Here they are!
Sex Appeal
A few days ago, I was goosed by an elevator. There I was, sitting near the doorway, when the elevator doors made a none too subtle groping of my butt as they passed me by. By the time I could turn around with an indignant look on my face, the elevator doors had already moved on by and I could do nothing. It seems peculiar to know that I have some latent sex appeal that brings out the frisky passions and libitos of inanimate objects. I'm not entirely sure if this is an ego-inflating concept (after all, how many of you out there can say you've aroused a couch or an elevator door?), or a frightening one.
"Quick, Put Toto In The Picnic Basket!"
The mall I work at has a security bunker in case some wild twister decides to get up to some Level-5 shenanigans. It also doubles as a fire escape. And a bomb shelter. In truth it's nothing more than a very large, very long and overly-glorified cement tunnel that runs the course underneath the mall. So if my kiosk decides to spontaneously combust, I know where to flee to.
Moo?
Sears is in possession of a toilet that, when flushed, sounds like a cow is being stuffed into it. Why anyone would try to get a toilet to emulate the sound of a hapless bovine being given a swirlie is beyond me, but apparently someone felt that it should work this way. To this, I give a helpless shrug.
And I Wasn't Told Of This Earlier, Because?
Perhaps the greatest discovery and earth-shattering revelation of all the last few days has been learning that the colour
periwinkle is not, in fact, a shade of yellow. Periwinkle is of a blueish or violet tint. For years I was led to believe that when anything was said to be Periwinkle in colour, it was yellowish. I have been living a lie for all these years....
Today's Lesson: Neil Gaiman is a seriously cool author who I admire and want to imitate, though not in a single-white-female kind of way. Oh, and it's pronounced
Gay-man, not
Guy-man.
posted by Phillip at 5:53 PM
